Writing

Take flight

2011-12-11T10:00:00.000-08:00

This is the last time you'll ever be on my mind. It is time for me to say goodbye, time to take flight.
Ooh I traveled so far, up mountains and down rivers, across the world, searching for you. But I found nothing. You left me with a single thing. You left me with my memory.
This is the last time you'll ever be on my mind. It is time for me to say goodbye, time to take flight.

2011-12-08T19:16:00.001-08:00

Sister: Why is my pillow all wet?
Me: Sorry I just cried on it for 2 hours.
Sister: Oh... um alright then. . .

Left to die, left to cry.

2011-12-07T16:09:00.001-08:00

Said you loved me more. I thought it was true. Everyone around me knew you weren't telling the truth. Now I am here sitting in the corner, bleeding, left to die. Crying and alone, I sit here and try to fill the hole in my chest. Half of my heart is gone. The thought of jumping out of the car occurs every so often. You thought there were no more tears left to cry. Until you sit down and think about it, and slowly die.

Beauty

2011-11-11T18:06:00.000-08:00

Is beauty a lie, like when you look in the mirror and you see a pretty face but there are secrets behind? Or is it another thing waiting to stab you in the back. Blood running down your spine, you realize, beauty comes from the inside.

Wonders

2011-11-11T17:56:00.000-08:00

The wonders of the world, the way the trees swing back and forth, the way the sun kisses my skin, how when I look uop, it's so bright and blue, wind blowing in my face, laughing about silly stuff, everything else.

Title here.. Where?

2011-10-24T15:58:00.001-07:00

Name of Band: Pills and Soda, No Pun Intended.......... Name of song from either band: I Love You Oh No Here It Goes...

Pair of Jeans

2011-10-23T22:12:00.000-07:00

Something about just looking at her hurts me, like she is everything you wanted, something about it, kills me, I might doubt it sometimes, but inside, I really know. You've had her before, but me longer, maybe I am just those pair of jeans that you loved so much, but just need to go, it's been tooo damn long.

Through it all.

2011-09-28T18:20:00.001-07:00

My Love, we wait and wait, what now? It has come to the point, where we say goodbye, but neither of us are ready. Nothing ever goes steady. For us, it's different, I can't release us, it's impossible, after all of it. Hell and back, we seek each other yet again. I can't deny I love you. You can't either. I don't know if it's faith, but for right now, I'll be with you. Take my hand, dance with me. We can laugh on the grass and talk shyly, it's ok with me. We are stronger then it may seem.

Remember

2011-08-20T23:04:00.000-07:00

I am not going to post this on my wall, but maybe you can see this right now I doubt it, but I hope, I always hope. I want him to never be mad at me, and me not at him, I can't ever stay mad at him, and he can't stay mad at me, we are weak for each other so that makes us perfect together. Forever and ever, remember?

Is this it?

2011-08-02T13:43:00.001-07:00

So close to breaking down. Is this it?

LOVE...

2011-06-20T21:35:00.000-07:00

Everything will be alright.
Wait until the sunlight.
Just think about it.
Dream about it.
LOVE...

My Story

2011-06-11T21:17:00.000-07:00

I’ve never really stopped and looked at life. I saw it through my very own eyes.

When I was little I would go to the beach with my parents and my little sister Cassie, she was three at the time, and I was about six or seven. Not caring if sand got into my hair and left it with a crusty hard feeling; I would roll in the salty sand. The warmth, just as my mothers, comforted me and made me feel safe. I rolled for hours, and for a while, I wouldn’t care what people thought of me. And when I had had enough fun, I would run into the deep blue ocean and let it take the sand away from me.

My parents had always been in love, and always will be. It completed me and made me feel whole. I would run round the backyard with the fairies, and with flowers twirled into my hair. And one time while I was running back there, free, I stopped. I saw life, love, and meaning in a totally different way. I caught a glimpse through the window of my parents. They were looking directly into one another’s eyes. The look was filled with love, not lust. They looked at each other like they just had been hit by cupid’s sprawling arrow. All I could think of right then and there was how much I wanted that when I was older. You can even say it was a fairytale I dreamt of like Cinderella did.

I was born at home on a hot day in February at 1:35pm. My mom would always tell me and my sister about when I was born. Even though the story never included my sister or Barbie’s, she was still very intrigued in it. And for a couple of years, we would plead her to tell us the story again and again. She would say, “When you guys brush your teeth and hop into bed I will.” She said this with a mocking smile, like she knew we would do it, which we did. So as she had said, I went to brush my teeth so I could hear the story for the one hundredth time. As she told the story, we fell asleep, like a baby being rocked by her sweet warm mama.

When you were born your father picked

You up so I could see your beautiful face.

And with your dark blue eyes you looked at me

And you smiled. You smiled right at me.

She always had said this so tenderly it made a tear sit at the corners of my eye, and with a blink, the tear would roll gracefully down the sides of my face. And she would kiss me goodnight.

Sometimes I would wake early over the weekends. I don’t know why, no scientifically reasoning, I just did. I would creep to the kitchen to get a glass of cold milk, and when I got there; my dad was drinking coffee, just as he always did in the mornings at around six in the morning. Being the humorous child I was, I asked him for a sip of the coffee. He smiled and handed me his mug. I looked up at him with gracious eyes, almost saying “Really?” “Be careful Lil, it’s super hot!” My full name was Lilly Ambrosia Foster, my dad called me Lil, for short. I held the mug up to my lips, scared, yet curious at the same time. I blew on it to be extra safe for the fear I might burn my mouth off. I took my first sip of coffee. Not only did I end up burning my tongue, it tasted terrible! It was as if somebody was expecting to taste sweet, but they ended up with sour, it was shockingly bitter. I made a disgusted face. My dad chuckled his low chuckle. “EW!” I screamed. That made him laugh even harder. “EW! EW! EW! EW! EWWW!” I started bursting broken ew’s as I handed him his gross, bitter coffee back. I ran to the sink and turned on the water, I cupped the water into my hand and sipped it up, and it slightly hurt my red tongue.

I remember this one Christmas as if it was just yesterday. It was about 8 in the morning, Christmas day, and I could hardly sleep the night before from all of the excitement about presents under our tree. The second I woke up I went over to Cassie’s bed to wake her up. “Cassie! Wake up, it’s Christmas!!” Right when the word Christmas came out of my mouth she opened her eyes and hopped out of bed. “Come on.” I said. I grabbed her hand and we both ran downstairs together. The smell of fresh Christmas tree blew into our faces as we entered the living room. Presents big, small, and circled were under the tree. “Let’s go put ours in piles!” Cassie told me. Every Christmas we would put the presents that were ours in a separate pile in different spaces on the living room floor so we could just dig in when it was ok to. “Ok.” I replied. So we ran to the tree and started to get the presents that had our names in big glittery letters on it. I always thought Santa did this for us, but later when I was 8 I found out it was my mom and dad who stayed up late to do arts and crafts all over our presents to make them pretty. I found this really big present far back in the tree’s needles. It had my name on it, written big, and it had sparkles all around it. It was really nice to look at. I picked it up. It was sort of heavy. “Whoa is that yours!?” Cassie asked. “Yes.” I turned it around so she can see my name on it. “Wow..” She gazed at it for a minute, then went back to sorting her pile.

You and I

2011-06-11T21:09:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow is just me another day, another day without you next to me </3 I feel safe in your arms. When we spend the day together, laughing, talking, crying, I share everything with you. I need you. I love you. You make the world a better place. You make me feel like there is something to live for, I live for you. I breathe for you. You are my love, you are my life. <3

What If

2011-06-08T20:57:00.000-07:00

You're perfect. The dream guy. Girls fall for you. But your not even real. They hope that your their boyfriend. But you are just our escape from the real world of love. Our "I can't take it anymore, where is the guy I am looking for" And he is right there. But of course, he isn't real. None of them are. Hardly ever. You know they are perfect in your own way, but when they don't listen or don't care, you ignore it and think, "oh that didn't happen." But it did. And that's just tragic. Boys are a tragedy. And you have to fall and fall until you get to the end of the cement. And a guy will be down there, but you might splat on the hot ground, or you will stop two inches from the ground and he will come by and hold your hand. You will shake, not knowing what just hit you. Then he will say the three words and you will know what hit you. Love. But maybe, love doesn't exist, or even last, it's always interrupted by some girl with beautiful skin and hair, she will pull him away and you will be there on the cement. SPLAT. And you'll bleed for a very long time, until you fall again and another one comes by and holds your hand. And you fall and fall. But you never learn your lesson. Because love is a thrill and you want more and more, it's never enough, because either one really loves you, or the other doesn't. In the end, the love, the spark, the touch, it all fades away. Soon you will be separated from them and distance will be in your life like it never has before. It's like a long life depression, that never ends. Who knows? you could be with that boy you liked since 4th grade right now. But when he looks at a girl, in any way, even though he might not think of it that way, it still hurts. Very bad. And that feeling stays in the core of your stomach. And it twists and turns. And you keep asking yourself "what if..." and you never fall, or land with what ifs.

2011-06-08T20:30:00.000-07:00

We fight, we cry, but why? Do we do it to show how we are feeling? To get attention? Or because inside, you are truly broken and all you want to do is express it...?
I fight with you because I am willing to fight FOR you.
I cry when we fight, when my anger is just too much. When I want it to stop. The pain. The tears flow and flow, and you sob until you have chest pains. But is it worth it? How else is the pain in our hearts going to come out?

Sharing my writing!

2011-06-08T20:13:00.000-07:00